13 Months Sober: Why I Stopped Caring About Sobriety
13 Months Sober (2025)
I don't care about being sober anymore. Not because I've started drinking again, but because the novelty of new benefits has worn off. My life is still alcohol-free, yet the daily absence feels boring and flat, like driving through Nebraska. I've realized my beloved martinis were just a ticket to sit at bars, and I still want them sometimes. But I've chosen to remove alcohol from my skillet, and I'm okay with that.
Alcohol is an ingredient. But in my next metaphor, it’s a figurative ingredient. The dish of life only gets more complex. A chef will tell you crowding the pan with too many ingredients means all of them cook less effectively.
- nazgulsenpai
How coincidental this appears on my timeline today, it's my 12th year sober today. I started drinking heavily when I turned 21 and it spiraled until an all day, every day thing. I even had pancreatitis when I was 28 and even when it was obvious why I just refused to see it. One night when I was 30, a drunk family member got into a physical altercation with me and I asked a friend to pick me up so I could leave. On that trip, he simply said "have you ever considered that you might be an alcoholic?" I don't know what was different about this time, but I immediately realized it -- holy shit. I never drank again after that.
Once I quit I immediately was "my old self" again. I got back into playing video games, listening to MY music instead of whatever was palatable to whomever I was drinking with, dedicating all my time and energy into my kids and my nerdy hobbies.
It might come across as silly but, if you have someone close to you who has a drinking problem, it might be worth asking them about it. They probably won't be receptive to it until the time is right, but who knows? Maybe that time is when they ask for a ride from you at 2AM.
- jppope
Probably the most interesting concept in there was how the author admits that Alcohol was a "net-positive" in life. Which adds a whole different flavor to the article. The decision to stop drinking alcohol takes a different meaning when a person can be intellectually honest about the situation.
I'm personally interested in society's relationship with alcohol now. There has been a huge change over the last decade and I don't think anyone fully understands it. Alcohol consumption is down from what I understand, but so is ALL risk-seeking behavior - which can include things like pursuing romantic relationships and starting businesses. Meanwhile there is a massive downturn in psychological well being.
Does anyone have any unbiased studies on this phenomenon? Has there been a more thorough investigation on the matter?
- mmaunder
Three years. You really need to be your own person to handle it, given how alcohol hasn't just permeated the fabric of society, but is the fabric in many situations. For me being available to perform at the top of my game 24/7 is something I enjoy very much e.g. getting a call to do a mercy flight at a moments notice from the island I live on, at night in IMC, knowing it's no problem because I'm sharp - now that's a great feeling.
I think if you're going to go sober, doing something like volunteer fire or another field that lets you feel good about being available 24/7 when others might not be, really helps keep you motivated and appreciate the new state of being. Also just pushing yourself mentally or physically - e.g. training for a marathon or ironman - it lets you actually reap the rewards rather than feel like you've lost something.
- sibeliuss
I'm just about at 7 years! Best thing I ever did, but its an entirely different way of being.
I was one way when I was drinking, and i'm another way now. The times when I was drinking were good in a sense, kinda like the author mentions, but after giving it up all of my anxiety vanished, and I noticed (after a few years sober) that I felt almost like my childhood self, which was/is still astonishing to me in the best of ways.
A lot of things had to be sacrificed however. My life is vastly more boring, and I honestly have no interest in socializing, unless it is with family or really close long-term friends. And I used to have a LOT of fun going out, meeting new people, getting in trouble / crazy situations, all of it. Like a totally different person.
But it is all worth it -- my kid has never once had to deal with me having a hangover, and all the baggage that that comes with. And all the fights my partner and I used to get in? Gone. Best thing I ever did, even thought it was extremely hard in the beginning.
- misterboo72
Six years sober here.
I guess I'm fortunate, but I have zero interest in anything alcohol related. I don't do NA beers or anything like that. I also don't go out to bars or hang out with those that do drink. It's not that I will feel tempted, I just don't have any interest in drinking. I believe that i was compensating for boredom when I was drinking. Now, if I'm bored at night, I just go to bed. I'm so glad I have no more next morning recalls of obnoxious things I might have said the evening before. My health is better too.